Worn-IF

WARNING – YOU ARE ABOUT TO JOIN A PITY PARTY – WARNING!

“Worn” – I looked the word up on dictionary.com. I’m not sure why, but I know that often times my definition of the word is more about feelings than the actual meaning, so I looked the word up.

Funny, it meant, what I felt, “exhausted, spent, fatigued, diminished in value”. I have been working (2) full times jobs for the last nine months. I am finishing/leaving one and continuing the other job. Somehow, I thought I would feel elated, now at least half my time would now again, be my own. But, alas, I feel, like the word for this week!

“WORN”

In between, working two full-time jobs, my family and I have moved, tried to be a support to my sister, battling breast cancer and continue the daily routines of life.

I’m not bitching about these things, they are what they are, things I’ve had to do. Somewhere in my mind, I thought that by the time I reached the age of fifty (50), my life would be calmer, not easier, but calmer, yet it is not. I am worn.

So while, I am unpacking old travel sketchbooks, dreaming of traveling again, dreaming of creating again, I came across this drawing. It reminds me of being “Worn” and just wanting to sit down. I mean truly sit down! I would like to sit down, when someone asks me to do something, I don’t want to do, but because of where I am, I have to; I want to sit down in protest to things I don’t want to do.

“I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!” (cried the big baby artist, who has been blocked for some time)!

So like this young girl, sitting down, hiding and being worn out, this week’s prompt is something I can truly relate to.

May the peace I seek find its way to all those on the worn path. Peace.

31 Comments »
  1. sometimes these hard times are like beaver dams waiting for a catalyst to burst your artistic flow with a vengeance. you’ll get out the dip soon enough. keep pluggin’ along.

    Comment by zillustration — June 29, 2009 @ 6:45 pm

  2. Oh, my goodness – I hope you find some time for yourself soon. The painting certainly conveys your feelings very well.

    Comment by Susan — June 29, 2009 @ 6:48 pm

  3. The girl looks very sad and a little bit angry, in my opinion. Hope she may find happiness again soon. Love the texture of your painting!

    Comment by Dream Painter — June 29, 2009 @ 6:50 pm

  4. great painting and i’m with you on the narrative! after retiring from the military (24.5 years) i thought things would calm or settle down… wrong. hope you can find peace and a little time for yourself!

    Comment by jrt — June 29, 2009 @ 7:13 pm

  5. We all deserve a little venting now and again :) I think you are a strong, brave, talented,smart and unique artist. Things will pass and you are riding the wave of balance as best you can, remember that. Big hugs from valgal

    Comment by valgalart — June 29, 2009 @ 8:39 pm

  6. This painting is perfect for the definition of “Worn” that you have included. It is tough to feel worn, and soon, it will get better – in a way. (to me, it seems like, once we face one challenge, overcome it, we’re stronger – just strong enough to face the next challenge.)

    Anyways. Thanks for the blog post – both the message and the art were inspiring.

    Comment by Catania — June 30, 2009 @ 12:27 am

  7. Ohh i completely understand where you are coming from…every time I think life is starting to smooth out and be “calm” something happens to make it crazy. I admire you so much for being such a hardworking generous person! Make sure you take a minute for yourself to sit down and do something fun, not only do you deserve it, you NEED it!! xoxo

    Comment by senta — June 30, 2009 @ 12:48 am

  8. You’ve transmited very well your feelings in this illustration. All of us have often this feeling. Me at this moment for example. I can’t find time for my own!
    Thanks a lot also for your nice comment!

    Comment by angels — June 30, 2009 @ 3:03 am

  9. I came here to thank you for commenting and then saw your picture. This is the pic of the week, shows what worn really means. Take care, I know it’s not much but I can tell you that when you really feel you’ve hit the bottom the good thing is that the only way is up. Things will get better. Just keep painting, I’ve noticed that best pictures come out when the times are tough :)

    Comment by Keiko — June 30, 2009 @ 4:30 am

  10. This too shall pass. Your reward for helping out your sister will come soon. Just remember to breath.

    Comment by Cyndia — June 30, 2009 @ 10:21 am

  11. I often feel this way too – and this song, by Darryl Worley, hits where it counts…

    Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
    It’s just a common case of everyday reality
    Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
    To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
    It sounds like life to me

    Some days, some weeks, some years are just better than others. Sending good vibrations your way.

    Comment by cathie — June 30, 2009 @ 1:32 pm

  12. Thank you for your comments. As we get older the problems do seem to multiply, but there are those joys we would not want to miss. I took care of my Dad last year in hospice he had to have 24hr care. I was a bit worn, but I’m glad that i did not miss those last 8 mos. and I have 3 Grandchildren that are the light of my life.

    Comment by jo — June 30, 2009 @ 2:10 pm

  13. Great painting, powerful emotions and feelings in your painting and your writing…. I hope you find the peace you seek…. and that you will love and care for yourself, as much as you love and care for your family…

    Comment by Elaine Magliacane — June 30, 2009 @ 3:01 pm

  14. wow! and i thought i had it hard! hope things will settle down for you soon and you could paint, paint, paint!

    i could actually feel how fed up the subject in your painting is. yup! sometimes all you want to do is sit and rest and soak things in.

    Comment by yati — June 30, 2009 @ 11:53 pm

  15. Take care of yourself too Indigene… and know that you are missed!

    Comment by Roberta Baird — July 1, 2009 @ 10:01 am

  16. I know just how you feel. When I retired I thought I’d have an endless supply of time but with an aging mother and moving to a new town I and house I don’t know how I ever found time to work. The illustration is wonderfully expressive, very well done

    Comment by cobol — July 1, 2009 @ 5:00 pm

  17. This really is ‘worn’, great picture to represent the word, and with such meaning. I’ve had a very intense week and when I saw your picture I could relate to it straight away. Wonderful work. I hope that soon things will get less crazy for you too. Hang in there!

    Comment by Nicola Toms — July 1, 2009 @ 5:36 pm

  18. It sounds like you certainly understand worn! Great illustration, I’ve certainly felt that way before.

    Comment by Zeldazap — July 1, 2009 @ 9:34 pm

  19. Long time since I visited last time… You have a nice work.

    Comment by Tomás — July 2, 2009 @ 2:48 am

  20. Oh, my heart goes out to you. I guess all challenges help us grow and that will influence you creatively in ways that you would have never guessed and often very much for the better. Great illustration, great expression of the theme.

    Comment by Alisa — July 2, 2009 @ 7:21 am

  21. Hello Indigene,

    This is a very powerful image for the theme Worn but most important is that inspite of everything you are undergoing right know there is peace in knowing that you were able to express your feelings creatively. I wish you all the best and my thoughts are with you.

    Comment by Maria Madonna Davidoff — July 2, 2009 @ 7:31 am

  22. Hello my darling Indigene, you do sound so worn down… hopefully this exhausting period of your life will soon pass and life will settle again, it is these troubled times that help us to appreciate peace when it comes… anyway my friend I often think of you and your sister, I hope she is doing well.. my love to you both
    Kath x

    Comment by kathy hare — July 2, 2009 @ 8:28 am

  23. Hi Indigene, sorry to be late.
    I guess somethingit’s beyond our control.
    If we are worn, but worn with good reasons!
    I understand your situations. I did that before but I can’t do it now because I have very severe skin problem. I need to go for treatment….I am so worn out too:)
    I love your illustration that speak from heart always!
    Take care and may God’s words refresh your tire soul and body!
    Happy weekends dear friend!

    Comment by yoon see — July 2, 2009 @ 10:12 am

  24. she certainly looks worn…
    about feelings – we can’t make art without feelings, even if they don’t always show..

    nice work!

    Comment by vfm4 — July 3, 2009 @ 3:42 am

  25. …sigh…I’m exhausted just imagining it. :o But the painting illustrates your story perfectly! Good luck, Indigene. :)

    Comment by Nancy — July 3, 2009 @ 11:42 am

  26. this is a beautiful piece and a perfect expression for everything you are going through right now.
    Good luck with everything, take care x

    Comment by Amy C — July 4, 2009 @ 12:59 pm

  27. I recall feeling exactly like this at one point. my art stuff was packed away and far from my being able to use them; and although not taking care of someone sick – I was very blocked and feeling worn to the bone. I started doing the Artist Way and found that it kept me thinking creatively – it also gives you a place to put those private thoughts.

    Comment by AscenderRisesAbove — July 4, 2009 @ 10:56 pm

  28. This post really hit home with me. I’ve been working since I graduated from high school in 1976, and I am now 50 years old as of last November. I, too, expected the second half of my life to be much better, calmer, as you stated. But it seems like the struggles have gotten more intense. The decision to follow my dream and to become what has been on hold for so long did not come easy. I pray everyday for God to strengthen my resolve to stick to my guns and just do it.

    Thank you so much for dropping by my little neck of the woods. Your website is wonderful and I look forward to returning to see more of your brilliant art. Vanessa is truly a blessing to me and I thank God for her.

    Have a wonderful rest of the week and thank you for your kind comments. They are greatly appreciated.

    Kudos and Kisses!

    Comment by Cheryl Lynn — July 7, 2009 @ 7:23 am

  29. This picture so expresses that feeling. Wow. I assume that things will start to look up, that with more time, your energy can expand outward…..

    Comment by TMartin — July 8, 2009 @ 3:56 pm

  30. Oh, I wish I could offer her some hot chocolate… and wonder if it would help. And wish you all the best for all your struggles, and at least some peaceful moments in between. *

    Comment by iris — July 10, 2009 @ 9:04 am

  31. I understand this feeling…. Worn, and I would encourage you to…. do something in order to change things, work less, and find time for yourself and your family… Would this be possible? Work less and live more.
    I’ve been working a lot too in the last months, because I moved to a new country and had to think about myself, finding a job, starting one, two, three part time things.. and living by myself. I’m still in the first part of my life (theoretically speaking… who knows?) and it’s not easy.. I’m understanding how muchI people are more important, more than anything, and we should concentrate on them, on their and our happiness: all the rest is something made up by society. But on the other side, we need to get (just enough) money to survive, and this makes things a bit more complicated, because it takes time and effort.

    Your illustration gives a perfect feeling of the WORN state, which also involves being lonely and not helped.
    Best wishes from Elena

    Comment by elena inkpage — July 15, 2009 @ 3:27 am

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