Fear Less, Fear Less…

At the beginning of this year, my intention was to act with “Courage” and it seems that from the moment, I announced that as my intention, I’ve been thwarted by a near and strong individual, who has cared for me, all my life.

This individual wants success for me on her terms and always gives me the  deepest, and strongest feelings about every action I take. She took amazing care of me as a child, a teen and my early adulthood.  I understand her like no other in my life…BUT, she keeps me from being the best that I can be and after a few days of arguing, hurtful things said and lots of lethargy. I accept the fact, that she is someone I have to work with for the rest of my life, so I begin to take steps with her by my side, as I move forward to future.

This fearful warrior is my…inner critic, “Grimlette“. (Yes, she has a name!)

My battle with her, went fierce when I began Kellie Rae Roberts e-Course, Flying Lessons! The course is chock full of information and an active on-line group. I look forward to the advice and tips about marketing, blogging, social networking, etc. What I didn’t count on was the  anxiety that rose from Grimlette!  She went on full-blast, I mean this girl had it out for me, in new ambitious ways.

Who knew, that this wonderful e-Course, would bring her out with such a vengeance?!

Like many people, when I have a big ideas, I make lists, I plan and organize, but when it comes time to act, Grimlette is there, telling me why this will not work. The girl’s good and you know, she use to make a lot of sense.  Now all the things, I’m learning to do in this e-Course doesn’t require bungee jumping off a bridge, rock climbing or riding in a helicopter dangling half way out to get a photograph, over a mountainous terrain, (all of which I’ve done). This course has made me thinking in new ways and acting on these new thoughts. It also allows me to test my dreams and to change my life in beautiful new ways. I know Grimlette is terrified of these life-altering changes.  She always knew that I could conquer the jumping, climbing and hanging, because they were not going to be a part of my everyday life. She knew I had my adrenaline in place for that kind of action and she protected me well.

It’s the long-term changes in my life that’s has Grimlette on terror’s edge. The steps to grow myself in my creative life and to incorporate it into every aspect of myself has her on guard and engaged for battle. Since the beginning of the year, with anticipation of change on my mind, she  thwarted me on every plan, I wanted to implement toward incorporating more courage into my life.

So as I emerge myself in Kellie Rae Roberts –
Flying Lessons
, Grimlette and I will have many talks.  She will challenge me every step of the way, as I move forward in the life that I know is mine to have.  The re-education of my inner critic will be tough. It takes courage, strength, and support. So I will be prepared for my battles with Grimlette and her cronies, resistance, fear, and anxiety.

But, I’m an amazing cheerleader for others, in fact, I love encouraging and inspiring others! Now, I will be doing it for myself as I continue to do it for others.

So stay tuned …as I begin a  personal journey holding hands with Grimlette, giving her lots of love, patience and action to move her with me, instead of against me. I’m psyched to make these changes! (“We’ll see”, says Grimlette)

How do you handle your fear(s)? What has and has not worked for you? I’d love to hear about it…

  1. I wish I could say that I can't relate at all, but alas! I know her way too well. Sometimes the best things I've done have been when I didn't think first at all. I just jumped and hoped there was a parachute or bungee cord or a net somewhere. Of course some of my most spectacular failures started the same way :)

    Comment by Linda Hensley — September 28, 2012 @ 1:40 pm

  2. Oh, those inner critics are HARSH! My inner critic has been just as cruel and vicious. But, we sort of need them to give us pause when we're thinking strategies through. She can have her opinion, but she can't control the roost! Thank you for sharing!!xoxo

    Comment by Alisa — September 28, 2012 @ 3:02 pm

  3. Love the post! I'm also taking Kellie's class and battle with that inner critic. So far I'm trying not to think too much about what I'm doing before I do. In the middle of the lesson about fears I stopped and finally signed up for the marathon that I've been planning on doing for years. I paid the money so now I have to do it. Since then I'm hitting publish or submit before I can worry too much about if anybody actually wants to hear what I'm saying.

    Every little step takes courage and faith. Keep up the good work. I'm sure Grimlette will come around to your side one of these days.

    Comment by Nikki Wheeler — September 28, 2012 @ 3:02 pm

  4. i love that you gave your inner fearful warrior the name grimlette. that's awesome.

    i'm still working on mine. maybe i need to give her and name and sit down for a little chat?

    Comment by Jenn McCabe — September 28, 2012 @ 3:21 pm

  5. By not planning. I am the proverbial “pantser” — I live, do, act, am, and fly by the seat of my pants. I don’t have time to “think” which doesn’t allow her time to act and thwart my actions!

    Comment by Sumaiyah Dymonz — September 28, 2012 @ 3:56 pm

  6. Totally unrelated to this post's content, but I wanted to say – omg I love how your text is shadowed. It makes it really pop off the background! I haven't seen that on blogs (that I've noticed, anyway) and I REALLY like it. :D

    Comment by Cara D. — September 28, 2012 @ 4:00 pm

  7. I loved this post, loved that you named her and that you talk her down! I just really enjoyed this the twist you put into it. Very original. Keep doing what you are doing! June Maddox

    Comment by June Maddox — September 28, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

  8. Yes, you're so right. They don't like it when we challenge the comfort zone. My version of Grimlette is very manipulative, hiding in the background and not really showing her face. Just slipping quiet little suggestions into my thoughts that cause seeds of doubt or inactivity. I have to be very still to find her. One of these days I will slay her completely!
    xo Janine http://www.janinewhitling.com.au

    Comment by Janine Whitling — September 28, 2012 @ 4:55 pm

  9. I too fight her all the time. Mine tells me that I am too tired to do anything. I just tell her that I want to anyway and most of the time it works, but not always. I fight the battle everyday and hope that it gets easier.

    Comment by Janelle Marks — September 28, 2012 @ 7:41 pm

  10. I recognize Grimlette, because she's so similar to my very own Mable. Mable means well but is protective and lets me know right away. Is Grimlette an expert debater? Mable uses expertly calculated odds supported by pages of references and statistics to support her arguments! I like the way you write about this and will check out Flying Lessons online, tonight.

    Comment by Helena — September 28, 2012 @ 9:58 pm

  11. Helena, Grimlette has amazing debating skills! I'm pretty sure that Grimlette operates totally from the left side of the brain which gives her analysis such a sound argument. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. :)

    Comment by indigene1 — September 29, 2012 @ 9:27 am

  12. This was a very insightful post and I loved the idea of naming your gremlin! Perhaps for me the most helpful thing in facing my fears is recognizing that we ALL have them! For so long I thought it was just me. But it isn't. That fact in and of itself is very liberating if we're willing to talk about it! Nice to meet you fellow flyer!

    Comment by angela — September 29, 2012 @ 9:33 am

  13. Hi Angela, thanks for commenting! Everyone finds the best way to handle negative talk, or pessimism from their inner critic, sounds like you found your way! I agree, it is liberating! :)

    Comment by indigene1 — September 29, 2012 @ 9:46 am

  14. Something that has become more apparent to me, especially in this Flying Lessons course that we share, is that we are not alone or unique in our human experiences. I loved reading your post. A quote from Christian D. Larson I recently found that is on my desktop… "Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle." That includes our little gremlins!
    By the way, I LOVE the painting to the right.
    From your fellow flyer, Christina

    Comment by Christina — September 29, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  15. Christina, thanks for that quote! I think what great about the class is that folks are actually talking about the things that come up as oppose to ignoring or feeling like they're alone. I'm glad you love the painting, I'm not sure which one it is, since they change all the time. :) Soar high, my friend! :)

    Comment by indigene1 — September 29, 2012 @ 6:12 pm

  16. I love your journal and the great, bold images in it! And I am thrilled to hear that you are putting on your cheerleading outfit for YOURSELF! I hope you find a way to gently coax Grimlette out of her comfort zone. Peace and courage and lots of love to you, Indigene!

    Comment by bella sinclair — October 6, 2012 @ 7:20 pm

  17. First, I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU for visiting my (new) blog and taking the time to read and comment. It really means a lot to me! Secondly, but equally importantly :) Thanks for sharing this post of yours!!!!!!! I am taking Kelly Rae's class too and Fear and Courage are two big themes at play for me too. One thing I do is really doing something I am uncertain I can do, but always wanted to (this is actually how I started my blog and wrote about it there and also what led me to take KRR class!), also things like running a race and taking singing….When I've done these things, I feel SO empowered and full of energy! I also REALLy relate to cheering others on and then feeding into my own fears/doubts! WHy do we do that?!!!! By pushing ourselves to take the leap, no matter what it may be, it really does something powerful to our soul. I don't think enough can be said about self-love and self-respect. When we acknowledge the service that fear provides in our lives and act with courage , we really do honor this precious life we have been given!

    Comment by Daniela — October 7, 2012 @ 10:25 pm

  18. Love your blog site.
    And you have great talent…your art is fabulous

    from a fellow 'flyer classmate '.

    Comment by sandymair — October 15, 2012 @ 4:20 pm

  19. Just found tho wonderful post. You are a joy and your courage is enormous. I remember the day I changed my inner critic from a ferocious judge on a big bench who terrified my little girl to Jimmy Cricket. Now we sing a happy tune and she knows she has a friend in him

    Comment by peggy — January 12, 2013 @ 7:10 pm

  20. I see you are busy creating the life you want! Bravo.

    Comment by peggy(Ladybug) — January 12, 2013 @ 7:14 pm

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