Odd With Ends…Beginning as a Possibilitarian

This year was my year for taking workshops and classes, since I wanted to be in “learner” mode, which I always find exciting, because I love to learn. Heck, if there was a job that paid me to learn, I would be top in my field!  I think that’s why I like being an artist so much, because no matter how much you learn, there is always more to learn, plus there are so many disciplines of art, you can spend your whole life in this field and never get bored.

I’ve just completed my last online workshop for the year, I feel odd, now that the class ended. Since each week I looked forward to that lesson delivered, and the great feedback from all the participants. It’s been a wonderful experience, has taught me a lot, but more than that, it’s expanded my creative tribe.  I’ve met some amazing artists and saw some beautiful creations! I’m looking forward to staying connected to this incredible group.

Now, the practical part of learning starts… putting all those lessons, tips, and techniques to work.  No doubts, this is the  hardest part.

I will take the next couple of months to process and produced based on what I’ve learned. Internally, I’m finding that to be some scary shit! (If the language bothers you, I’m sorry, no other word fits these feelings).  I’m still figuring out why that is, but I do know from past experiences, that the best things have happened when I’ve worked past the scariness. When I had my first group exhibit and sold 50% of all the art from the exhibit and the only artist who sold anything; I remember being so nervous leading up to the opening of the exhibit, I had an anxiety attack , the hour before the doors open for the exhibit!  I had countless experiences like this, so you would think I would be better at it now. But the thing about fear, is it’s really crafty, and it finds new ways to scare me and the more I want something, the bigger the fear! So, each time, feels new and scary and I have to work through the fear and persevere,  because I love creating art, and there are too many people, who never start, or who give up and I refuse to be counted among them! Besides, this creative work keeps me passionate, full of energy and kindles my spirit, so letting go is not an option.

So I’m hoping you stay with me as I practice what I learn, taking my baby steps…I am now a Possibilitarian.

What changes are you making in your life? Can you say what you’re afraid of out loud? Or is staying the same your adventure?

 

 

 

16 Comments »
  1. Aren't you a troublemaker with that last challenge! Love this post, and I totally agree with you I every step. I will be around for you and you know it :-) There is one "big" thing you have going for yourself and it is called BRAVE. I see this strength all the time in your work and it actually helps heal my own heart with its Fear Wounds. Mine is being homeless and that is ridiculous since the Earth is my home, but I'm terrified of war. OK there it is. Hugs to you!

    Comment by Lisa Rivas — October 22, 2012 @ 4:47 pm

  2. Can't wait to see how this course changes our lives! Great post, interesting to see how others in the group feel about the end…or is it the beginning?

    Comment by honeydropstudio — October 22, 2012 @ 5:43 pm

  3. I totally agree with you. And love the idea that we will be facing these scary challenges together. This is a very important group and the dynamic amongst us is very important too. I am hoping to write about this. I think it is more important than we realize.

    Comment by gwenie07 — October 22, 2012 @ 8:17 pm

  4. Gwen, it's always better when you're afraid to have someone who's supportive and understands. Looking forward to reading about your take on what you've learned through the process. We can shake in our fabulous boots together! :)

    Comment by indigene1 — October 22, 2012 @ 9:59 pm

  5. My real fear is that no one will like my art, or I won't even like it, when I am finally brave enough to go purchase a big canvas and paint on it!! I have the paints, I can draw half way decent, I painted on some cardboard and it doesn't look too bad, but I took Flying Lessons for my creative sewing, bag making business. Every time I walk into an art supply store I go look at the biggest canvasses they have. And I just stare at them, then I dream, then I walk away. What's up with that?! It's like they are calling me! Thank you Indigene for painting on really big canvas :)
    Shelly Jack

    Comment by Shelly Jack — October 23, 2012 @ 9:35 pm

  6. Shelly, that's a feeling that comes often to a lot of artists. My first large canvas was 4' x 6'. It stood in my studio for over a year. I walked by it for a year; before I finally put paint on it. It took me, probably another year to work on it little by little. So maybe, walk in that art supply store and start with a 6"x 6" canvas; or buy your large canvas and cover it with fabric and start from there. It doesn't matter how you start, just start. Tell your confidence saboteur, that you're just experimenting, so it doesn't have to be like! Go from there! Keep me posted and thanks for your encouragement! :)

    Comment by indigene1 — October 23, 2012 @ 10:40 pm

  7. Love the word "Possibilitarian". I've always stepped back (WAY back) from the label "Artist" and called myself a Creatarian. People in my classes would have powerful moments and finally declare themselves artists. I would applaud but secretly asked myself: "who cares WHAT you're called?…I'm all for incinerating the ego and just going forward…." it's all such a journey, right?……your work is just SO YOU (and beautiful and moving) . The biggest compliment of all.

    Comment by Lisa Hoffman — October 25, 2012 @ 7:40 pm

  8. Thank you Lisa!! :)

    It took me a long time to call myself an artist! I like that word, Createrarian :) But the bigger question is why don't we want to call ourselves, Artist? Funny, how children have no problems calling themselves that. I guess we talk ourselves out of who we are all the time. But, you're an amazing artist, so I call you, Artist. :)

    Comment by indigene1 — October 25, 2012 @ 8:26 pm

  9. Love your post and everyone's comments. Also really loving "possibilitarian". If I could manage to say it, I think I'd use it all the time :)

    Comment by Linda Hensley — October 26, 2012 @ 6:58 pm

  10. Indigene,
    Isn't that the truth? It IS scary shit. I agree. It seems like when I take a step closer to something, bigger fears pop up. When I even make a small accomplishment, demons down-play it all. So…so, so, so get what you're saying.

    Yet, I am very grateful you're not giving up and instead listening to that other voice, the one that reminds you that (OMG!) you sold half of your work at an exhibit. SO wonderful. (And I'm totally not surprised.)

    I love seeing your art + I can't wait to hear about your next new exhibit!

    Comment by Becky in Burma — November 4, 2012 @ 11:10 am

  11. Becky, I find that it will take some time to get to the root of the fear, so maybe that's why, it keeps popping up in a different way?! Who knows, it's an adventure and maybe that's what life is really about. Thanks so much for support my art! :)

    Comment by indigene1 — November 4, 2012 @ 5:21 pm

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