My rituals and spirituality keep me nurtured. My family keeps me cocooned, safe and loved. As always in the dark nights of the soul,  the light comes through, reminding me that there is balance and that fears will always be there, but it is the moving forward in those fears that the courage comes.

Love is the strongest engine of survival, life’s calling and I’m moving forward with the light of courage.

Peace to you and yours.

(“Life’s Calling” Collage/Paper-5″x7″ - ©2012 Indigene Theresa Gaskin)

The Highs and Lows of my 2011 year:

1.) I RESOLVE TO PROMOTE MYSELF SHAMELESSLY.  (Those of you who read my blogs, encountered me on Facebook and Twitter know this is true! :) I also handed out many business cards and postcards during 2011.

2.) I RESOLVE TO CULTIVATE A GREAT WEBSITE. Well, it’s great website to me! My wonderful webmaster son and I spent an enormous amount of time on it, updating it!

(© 2011 Indigene Theresa Gaskin – Frontview of my 2011 journals).

3.) I RESOLVE TO CONTINUE OPERATING WITH COMPLETE INTEGRITY.  This was done a 100% of the time and gave me great satisfaction, since this is one of my values, to act and serve with integrity!

4.) I RESOLVE TO CONTINUE EDUCATING MYSELF IN THE BUSINESS OF ART. I did this through workshops on and off-line! I made it through 9 workshops this year and in the midst of completing the last one now! I’ve read over (120) books this year, with thirty (30) of them being about art business and marketing (My bookstore receipts state I’ve purchased about 250 books, I still haven’t read them all yet)!

5.) I RESOLVE TO CONTINUE CONNECTING WITH OTHERS AND SHARE INFORMATION. I joined a guild and participated in meetings and continue to mentor others.  This was really big for me, since I am incredibly introverted and enjoy my solitude greatly!  These were all the resolutions I made in the new year of 2011 : (See http://indigeneart.com/happy-new-year-happy-birthday-to-me/)

Additional highlights included winning an award in arts and culture and participating in (2) Art Fairs!

So I feel so incredibly wonderful that I accomplished all my resolutions and lived in true abundance that I gained this year.

(© 2011 Indigene Theresa Gaskin – sideview of all my journals completed in from 2011)

Wonderful highs, also come with lows. The lowest points of 2011 and which will make 2011, unforgettable is that I lost my Mom (August 22) and my sister, Renee (June 27). I can honestly say that I have been in the abyss and on the mountaintop in 2011. I was blessed with the abundance of kindness from strangers and family. The outpouring of love from my internet friends still continue to overwhelm me and kept me held in the abundance of hope and warmth.  I learned so much from this heartbreaking ordeal and I still continue to learn from it. I realized what true friendship meant during this time.

So, 2011 brought me a fire of grief, a rainstorm of love and true growth and will never, ever be forgotten by me.

So with the old year, only a few hours left, I wish you all a very, wonderful, peaceful, spectacular, loving, prosperous, healthy and loving New Year!

I will see you in the New Year, with my intentions and resolutions and I hope to see yours as well! :) Peace to you and yours.

Of course, I know the definition of vanity, but there have been times when I’ve mistaken someone for being vain, and after getting to know them, I realized that they had a confidence of self, that was enviable. Which brings me to my next pondering…do we see vanity because we envy the confidence of an individual?

The lesson learned for me, is not to judge, since it is only when I get to know the person, do I begin to see the true self, and there have been times, when I would have missed out on knowing a wonderfully confident and loving individual.

(Image: “Da Bronx” – 9″x12″ Mixed Media/Paper)

I captured this beauty sitting on a stoop in the Bronx. My first thought was “what a vain young woman.”  She exuded confidence, beauty, which many took as being vain. I glad I got to know her, she had a mighty story, where vanity had no play in it.

How do you know when you’re dealing with vanity or confidence?

How do you know the difference? Have you ever mistaken one for the other?

Does culture play a role in your viewpoint of vanity of another?

Have you ever dismiss a vain individual without getting to know them?

Love to hear what you think!

Peace to you and yours.

Attending workshops, creating new work, gearing up for my  Holiday Studio Tour, conference calls, video summits and taking care of my daily business routines!

I’ve also spent some incredible time with new friends and old friends, (Thank you, awesome goddesses, you know who you are); which always fills me with love and adrenaline…:)

My thoughts have been scattered, but focused…is that possible, you ask? Yes, because these scattered thoughts and actions are an abundance of energy, that I believe are coming together, to bring another dimension to my life, creating richer experiences for me. They are only scattered, in the sense that I’m snatching time from here and there, because I want it all (insert, Vincent Price loud laugh here)!

I want to do so much and every waking moment is filled with something I love and need to get done, but at the same time, I’m savoring every nano-second and loving it! Now, how’s that for scattered thoughts and feelings?! :)

Every day, I miss my Mom and my sister, Renee, but I remember their beautiful spirits and then I live…in all my moments!

Savor your scattered moments, they have a place in your life, too.

In peace to you and yours.

(Image: collaged page from my “Creative Entrepreneur Business Journal”, Date: Friday, Oct.14, 2011)

P.S. I didn’t have time to edit this, so pardon any typos or scattered thought processes (insert more Vincent Price laughter!)

After some difficult months and major changes, I spent some time soul searching, reestablishing boundaries, redefining goals.  My definition of success needed to be adjusted, tweaked and changed at various times in my life. What I defined as success in my twenties, looks very different from what success looks like in my fifties!

In the Native American tradition, there is no word for art, because it is in every aspect of daily living and life. That’s how I wish to live my life, not with art being something separate, but as something that is a part of my life, like nature is, family is…because art is not separate from me! It is the authentic me.  This is the formula used to define my success.

(“Define Your Success” – 5″x7″ – Mixed Media/Paper)

So a major part of defining my success is creating art, selling art, living with art and letting others know how what this means to me and what it can mean for them. I would like to reiterate: this is how I make a living! I love sincere compliments, who doesn’t like hearing pleasantries about something they’ve made?

REMEMBER, it is cash, that pay the bills, feed my family, gas up the car, pay for health insurance and allows me to continue being me. This is my economic circle of life.

All of the above makes me a success! How are you defining your success? Are you allowing others to define success for you?  Forge your own path.

In peace to you and yours.

Night Flower

Since August 22, 2011, at 9:30PM, I am  disguised…Mum died.

I appear strong to my family, I thanked people who gave me their sincere condolences.  “Not now, maybe later” is what I’ve said, to the many well-meaning offers of support.  I have nodded my head appropriately in conversations, completed household routines, consoled my children and clung to my husband.

I am a dependable, responsible and strong daughter, a calm sister and a quiet mother.  I keep my disguise intact.

Disguised this week, making the phone calls, finalizing information and writing Mommy’s obituary, (because my siblings think, I write better than them). Trying to capture a woman, “the Mommy”, who I was connected to from conception to the end of her life; the container of my childhood, my maiden years, parts of my mid-life, the starter of my creativity, the strength of my stubborn will, the fierceness of my independence, the sweetness of my caring and the sour of my temper.

But in the dark soul of every night since August 22, the disguise comes off… like some insidious poison, grief drips into my heart, gently at first, waking me from my tenuous sleep, as if someone is calling me sweetly from sleep.  This grief pummels me awake, until I’m finally sitting with my knees to my face.  A sharp sliver of anguish piercing my chest.  I cry hard and long, with bouts of inconsolable anger, ill-formed regrets and wracked with confusion, I pick up the phone, and call my mother’s home.  After several rings, her message comes on, “This is Gloria, I’m not home right now, would you please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you.  Thank you and have a good day.” I leave a message, “Mommy, I need you, call me back, I miss you.” I realize, just how corrosive grief is, at night.   Like some dark, insidious poison, it drips into my heart so gently, it goes unnoticed during the day. In the morning, the disguise comes back.

I will work every day, because routines and rituals help keep me sane and thriving.   I put pencil to paper, paint to canvas, my hands are in the habit and my mind pushes for it.   My heart is broken.

I am more determined now, than ever to continue a artful legacy, my Mum gave it to me…a love of creating.   It is the one thing, in this ending that I can begin anew…my art.   It is the thing that goes on with or without a disguise. Thank you, Mommy.

It is morning, I wish peace to you and yours.

P.S. My mother loved flowers, birds, all things of nature.  I generally do not create flowers, every time I have, it’s been with her in mind.

“Night Flower” 9.5″ x 8″ Pastel/Paper

I listen everyday, as my Mum’s voice gets weaker and weaker and all that is happening to me is my heart swells and I wear it on my face.

I hold on to all the sweet and sour that is her and pray that it lasts me a life time.

I pray that everyone holds what is dear in life earnestly and closely, so that they may be able to let it go when it is time.

In peace to you and yours.

As an artist, I gravitate toward the visual; it’s just my particular way of interacting with my world. With so many things, to catch my eyes, I am in a constant state of over-stimulation and creating art is the passionate thing that calms me down. It is the constant, throughout my life that I believe keeps me interested, sane, stable and alive!

“Art is an articulator of the soul’s uncensored purpose and deepest will” - Shaun McNiff

Art influences every part of my life, not just in the pictures I create, but it draws me to others who create as well, whether their form of expression is dancing, writing, performing, healing, meditation, etc. They are all forms of art…people creating something that is a manifestation of themselves to give to the world, a beauty that only they can give.

My life is changing, and I want to commemorate this change. No, it’s a change that society may remark upon, but it is a change that has long been coming, a change from being just a child, woman, wife, mother or sister. I am becoming my authentic self! You might ask, well, who have you been all these years?! I’ve been all those labels, I’ve just mentioned…totally embracing, living and being in them, because they were necessary.

Those labels defined me and I made decisions based on those labels. I absolutely do not regret the decisions or the labels! But, I can no longer just be that. I must listen to my intuitive voice and follow it’s leading, with my life force, in order to make this physical journey true to what I am. So this perennial journey has become more than a whispering, it is my new art, my new self!

The labels are still there, but in a very different sense. My perennial journey is drawing out shapes, images and memories that may not belong to me, personally, but that will fashion a self-portrait to engage in my process of self-discovery; that is so essential to the discernment of my calling to authenticity. I use my art to bring me in line with my calling. Through it I have access to timeless sources of wisdom in myself, deep drives and memories of who I really am, who I am becoming.

I am changing…needing authentic people to grow along with me…I am changing.

Such are my perennial thoughts on this hot summer night…

I want to profusely thank Andrea Pratt for her beautiful talent and inspiration, she has shown me how a soul can travel through her art. I appreciate her help and direction in creating these memorial images.

In peace to you and yours.

Note: These images are a part the background of my memorial portrait of my sister, Renee Marie Bryant – (Feb.10, 1960 – June 27, 2011).

It’s not something that I can articulate well at this point, and maybe I never will.

(“Mind Body & Spirit” – Mixed Media/Paper)

My sweet little sister, Renee is in hospice, that is really all I can say now. My dreams are filled with surrender, an outpouring of love and a deep hole of sadness. So on these midsummer nights, I try to understand, believe and sustain faith. May the God you believe in, give you the peace of mind, that can surround the body, so that the soul may be released. Blessings to you and yours.

]]> http://indigeneart.com/midsummer-nights-of-mind-body-spirit/feed/ 16 http://indigeneart.com/honor-the-women-in-your-life/ http://indigeneart.com/honor-the-women-in-your-life/#comments Sat, 23 Apr 2011 04:13:04 +0000 Indigene http://indigeneart.com/?p=1918 For those of you who are blessed to have your mother, May 8th, is a day that is recognized to honor her. if you are like most, you honor this woman every day of her life, by living your life in a way, that she would want you to.

For those of us, whose mothers have transitioned out of this life, this can be a bittersweet day. We remember her with love, and then remember, that she is no longer with us. We continue her legacy by living our lives with integrity and the lessons she taught us.

Some of us may not have any of those memories above. You may be one of those courageous women, who did it alone, then you are to be celebrated too!

Maybe your memories are not tempered with love, maybe that mother figure was not what you would have liked; hopefully, there is a woman, that gave you some semblance of a Mom.

Hopefully, in most of our lives, we have met a woman, who has embodied that “mother” figure. She has nurtured us, cheered us on, when we needed it most, told us about ourselves when we were acting less than we were, she may be your best friend, a girl friend at work who taught you something that one else could or would take the time to!

I don’t think of Mother’s Day as the only day to honor my mother or the other women in my life, but it is a day, that can be used to remember all the other women in my life who have given me their “mothering ways”; the ones, that I might forget in the hectic thing, I call my life, it is these women, I honor on Mother’s Day, because, my Mom tells me I honor her everyday, so she would prefer that I honor all the women in my life who have been there for me as well!

So I encourage you to do that on this upcoming Mother’s Day. Honor the Women in Your Life. A special call, a card, take her out to breakfast, a gift, an “I love you for who you are”. Give her a token of your love. As women, we treasure those things, because the words and the action are important.

May you continue to honor the women in your life, wherever they are.

My art work is created and based on honoring all women, from various cultures, traditions, myths and spirituality.

For prints or cards, order by April 30th the latest for Mother’s Day at:

indigene-theresa-gaskin.fineartamerica.com

In peace from me to you.