Worn-IF

WARNING - YOU ARE ABOUT TO JOIN A PITY PARTY - WARNING!

“Worn” - I looked the word up on dictionary.com. I’m not sure why, but I know that often times my definition of the word is more about feelings than the actual meaning, so I looked the word up.

Funny, it meant, what I felt, “exhausted, spent, fatigued, diminished in value”. I have been working (2) full times jobs for the last nine months. I am finishing/leaving one and continuing the other job. Somehow, I thought I would feel elated, now at least half my time would now again, be my own. But, alas, I feel, like the word for this week!

“WORN”

In between, working two full-time jobs, my family and I have moved, tried to be a support to my sister, battling breast cancer and continue the daily routines of life.

I’m not bitching about these things, they are what they are, things I’ve had to do. Somewhere in my mind, I thought that by the time I reached the age of fifty (50), my life would be calmer, not easier, but calmer, yet it is not. I am worn.

So while, I am unpacking old travel sketchbooks, dreaming of traveling again, dreaming of creating again, I came across this drawing. It reminds me of being “Worn” and just wanting to sit down. I mean truly sit down! I would like to sit down, when someone asks me to do something, I don’t want to do, but because of where I am, I have to; I want to sit down in protest to things I don’t want to do.

“I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!” (cried the big baby artist, who has been blocked for some time)!

So like this young girl, sitting down, hiding and being worn out, this week’s prompt is something I can truly relate to.

May the peace I seek find its way to all those on the worn path. Peace.