It is done! What began as night pacing (see my December 6, 2009 blog post); has culminated into the finale.

I am now in that stage where the crescendo has ended. I have the feeling of not being anchored; I am adrift, until I delve into the next project.  Of course, I’ll sketch and create, but it is a different energy than being possessed by a painting screaming to get out!

Sometimes the best way to describe the creative zone, would be mania, crescendo, then an anti-climatic feeling sets in, finally a sadness that it’s over; and then peace,

but…then it starts all over again.

Remember to nurture your body, mind and spirit and being adrift may mean letting go of control.

I want to thank you all who continue to support me, I feel loved. Peace to everyone.

(Mixed-Media/paper - “O’s Totem” - 22″x30″ Copyright 2010 Indigene)

I was in the “zone”, (which is the preoccupation of obsessively creating an image), becoming so strong in my mind’s eye, that I am only freed from the zone by completing the actual work.  I worked days, excessively on this image.

I know that I feel exposed when I show any part of the process to anyone outside the zone of my head.  I am aware that I am exposed.

I took breaks, but it is the night of another day of obsessing over every little piece of it, adding, subtracting, pacing around the work, only stopping to take nature’s breaks, which can be a nuisance when in the creative zone.

It is only when the image is getting near the final stages that I feel I have revealed my subject or an aspect of them in an honest approach.

Some of the details of my Work-In-Progress contain various symbols and snakes are one of them.

Some cultures hold snakes in high esteem while other cultures despised them. There are cultures that associated snakes with medicinal powers or rebirth, such as the modern medical symbol of two snakes wrapped around a staff.

The Judeo-Christian culture does not hold snakes or serpent in a kind light. The biblical tales of the Garden of Eden and the serpent’s role in “tempting woman to trick man into the fall from God’s grace” have contributed to the negative images of snakes in western culture.  This deep rooted cultural biases accounts in part for the widespread of fear and disdain of snakes.  Myths, legends, and folk tales contribute to the misinformation and add to the snake’s negative imagery.

Cultures are as valid as the people who come from them and as with all living entities, there are positive and negative aspects, snakes are no different.

The imagery of the snakes in the details of this portrait embrace the concept of healer, rebirth and revitalization.

I’m sure that this spiritual portrait will be serve as a conversation piece, dependent upon the view or viewers!

I am sleeping badly. My mind and body feels tired, but as soon as I lie down, my mind becomes alert, goes into overdrive and over-active. I paced the floor or I read until the early hours of the morning, then I finally fall asleep.

My norm is hyper-sensitive, anxious and quick to become annoyed. My voice trembles, not from anger, but from passion. about what I believe in. When I was younger, people thought, it was nervousness or some type of rage; my inner tensions were so great, I had debilitating migraine headaches. After intense mental, emotional and spiritual therapy, the end result is and was that I need art to be a part of my daily life, no matter what!

It is when I’m actually making art, which includes the doodling, the scribbling, random notes to myself, research, reference-taking photos and finally putting the materials together for some unknown art project, I feel like relief, normal, calm and pleasant to be around. The world then feels right for me.

When I am not making art, (either by trying to avoid it, because I’m not sure what I’m going to do next – or because I have to put that art on hold because I’m trying to care for my family and others, (at the risk of forsaking myself), I return to that state of uneasiness and depression. This state becomes even more intensified, when external things are happening, outside of my control, such as the cancer running rampant in my loved ones.

Maybe my sleeplessness has something to do with trying to stop these things from coming out in my artwork, revealing myself. I am going to have to just let it all out. Otherwise, I’ll only tear myself up inside. Maybe that’s what these revelatory ramblings are about…“entanglement“, now maybe peace and sleep can come, it’s morning.

I keep believing in hope and putting my trust in love and praying to God, that the “unbalanced” that plagues my dear ones (cancer) will disappear and the light will hold us and be with us. It is an unbalanced, much like a walk on a tightrope, that I’m finding hard to bear.

I pray for all of you who cope with this and know that hope springs eternal. Peace.

I decided to combined my illustration from last week, “idle”, (which I didn’t post to IF), with this week’s word, “modify”.

I dream of having “idle” time, it’s not something, I’ve ever had a lot of! So it was very difficult for me to come up with an idea. But, I remember when I was little, I enjoyed taking long baths, and I would hear many complaints from my brothers and sisters, about spending, “too much time in the bath!”, so I finally centered on that idea, coupled with the fact, that I’m such a Mama Bear.

In a day or so this week, I will hopefully repost this illustration, in color, that will be my modification. You choose whether you like the “idle” line drawing or “modified” with color.

I’m hoping to have some idle time to modify it!

I hope you all decide to make take some idle time, and modify that time with peaceful results.

My daughter looked at what I did for this week’s prompt and gave me that teenager’s rolling of eyes and said, “Hollow tree, I mean Mom, really!”

Good thing, I’m not hanging onto her every word!

Being creatively blocked right now, has left me wanting only to work with little or no color, back down to the basics. So now, I’m concentrating on simplicity.

I work at a place with over (150) variety of trees and when I have a chance to notice, I notice the beauty in the hollow of the trees. I see all the beauty of the lines and curvature, but it is in the hollowness that tells the depth of a tree’s life. It is what makes you come closer to examine it, to ask the how and the why of it. Hollowness in and of itself tells a story. We just have to be willing to listen.

Be still, quiet and breathe deeply and fill your hollow space with peace and serenity. Peace to you all.

WARNING - YOU ARE ABOUT TO JOIN A PITY PARTY - WARNING!

“Worn” - I looked the word up on dictionary.com. I’m not sure why, but I know that often times my definition of the word is more about feelings than the actual meaning, so I looked the word up.

Funny, it meant, what I felt, “exhausted, spent, fatigued, diminished in value”. I have been working (2) full times jobs for the last nine months. I am finishing/leaving one and continuing the other job. Somehow, I thought I would feel elated, now at least half my time would now again, be my own. But, alas, I feel, like the word for this week!

“WORN”

In between, working two full-time jobs, my family and I have moved, tried to be a support to my sister, battling breast cancer and continue the daily routines of life.

I’m not bitching about these things, they are what they are, things I’ve had to do. Somewhere in my mind, I thought that by the time I reached the age of fifty (50), my life would be calmer, not easier, but calmer, yet it is not. I am worn.

So while, I am unpacking old travel sketchbooks, dreaming of traveling again, dreaming of creating again, I came across this drawing. It reminds me of being “Worn” and just wanting to sit down. I mean truly sit down! I would like to sit down, when someone asks me to do something, I don’t want to do, but because of where I am, I have to; I want to sit down in protest to things I don’t want to do.

“I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!” (cried the big baby artist, who has been blocked for some time)!

So like this young girl, sitting down, hiding and being worn out, this week’s prompt is something I can truly relate to.

May the peace I seek find its way to all those on the worn path. Peace.

Subtraction is an odd word to illustrate, especially while living in a culture where “more” is considered better and I see daily how that’s  taken over the top! Maybe taking away is an answer, not a punishment.

My thoughts on Illustration Friday’s word, “subtract” led me to the image of a Geisha, where I subtracted the background, to make you more conscious of the individual. The simplicity of beauty is evident, but a paradox, in the way I’m using it, since Geishas, wear many  added layers of clothing.

So in this image, you can think about the addition of many garments or the subtraction of environment. There’s a lot to ponder in a paradox…or not!

Whether you subtract from life or add to life, it is the living that must be done.   Happy Week…Peace.

“Time is running …”

I love Bears, they are my favorite wild animal, especially polar bears. Global warming has put these magnificent wild creatures in danger. So my Illustration Friday piece this week based on the word, “Time” is a tribute to these creatures. Human beings are stewards of the earth, please, let’s try to act like it.

For more information on endangered species like polar bears, visit:

http://www.panda.org/index.cfm

Peace to you and be good to the Earth, it has been very good to us.